This morning, I was scrolling down my Facebook Timeline and I came across a bunch of sad posts where a lot of people were mourning the death of a young 20 year old girl in our community.
I didn’t know her personally but I’m almost certain that I’ve seen her around before. She was a student at The University of Tennessee at Martin and she was VERY involved in the college. She was a cheerleader and also a part of the dance team. Just a very beautiful bright young lady that seemed like she was on her way to do extraordinary things but unfortunately she lost her life due to domestic violence. She was stabbed to death by her ex-boyfriend from what I understand.
Although I didn’t know this girl personally, it instantly broke my heart because first of all.. the whole story is just undeniably sad but it also took me back on memory lane to one of my past relationships. I dated a guy for four years. In the beginning, everything was cool but as time went on things got progressively worse as far as violence went.
This post isn’t about me so I’m not gonna go into a lot of detail but I will tell you that those four years were scary, painful and rough. There were some good days but bad ones definitely outweighed those and I’m just so glad that I was able to get out of that relationship. I’m forever grateful unto God for bringing me out of it and for also giving me the courage to walk away from it with my head held high!
Sometimes I look back and think about how things would’ve been if I had stayed. In all honesty, there’s a 100% chance that I would’ve been dead and sleeping in my grave OR in jail serving time with him not because I did anything wrong but just being guilty by association can get you in a big heap of trouble!!
To leave an abusive relationship is much easier said than done but let me tell you something … it is so worth it to leave!! I promise you, leaving my past relationship was one of the BEST things I could’ve ever done!! And sometimes, to even take that step is scary because you’ve gotten comfortable to a certain extent with letting them disrespect you like that.
You have suffered long enough. You’ve sacrificed your heart entirely too long for someone who could care less. I know letting go hurts but baby let me tell you something.. there’s no healing in holding on! Make it your responsibility to detach yourself from any relationship that’s keeping you from loving and freely being yourself. You may not able to see it now but there’s a lot of “good” in that goodbye. Trust me when I say it!
Domestic Violence is not okay. Don’t excuse it and don’t keep ignoring the red flags and toxic signs you see within people. Pay attention to those things and act accordingly! At the end of the day, you deserve responsible genuine love. You are so worthy and deserving of that!
Prayers for the family of this sweet girl and prayers for any and everybody that’s struggling to get out of an abusive relationship.
Domestic Violence Hotline open 24/7 – (800) 799-7233