Self Love 🖤 Self Care 🖤 Mental Health + Health & Fitness!! 🖤

Marriage|Relationships: Don’t Rush It !!

It’s bad to rush into relationships but it’s even worse to rush into marriage. You can save yourself so much time, heartache and disappointment if you just simply wait on God before you decide to exchange vows with someone. Sometimes, relationships are emotionally difficult to get out of but marriages can be both emotionally and FINANCIALLY hard to walk away from.

I get it though! I think we all reach a point in our lives where we’re just ready to settle down. The casual dating gets old, you get tired of entertaining more than one person all the time (if you consider yourself to be the player type) and the club/partying scene eventually plays itself out.

At some point, you just outgrow that type of lifestyle. You start thinking on a whole different level and when you hit that particular personal growth spurt you eventually start considering settling down with just ONE person, especially when you start working towards a better level of stability… financial stability, emotional stability, job stability, spiritual stability, and etc. Thinking on that level just changes the whole game! When you get to where you’re pushing a lot of personal growth for yourself, you don’t have time for the childish stuff. Actually, you could make time but when you’re mindset matures you really don’t have the desire for it anymore.

You just get to where you only want to focus on ONE PERSON… build a solid foundation with ONE person, start a family with that ONE person, you may even want to travel the world with that particular person and just know that real, genuine, honest, loyal, fun type of love exists between the two of y’all. That is totally OKAY!! It’s okay to want that for yourself. You gotta know that.

You are WORTHY of that type of love. The same love you desire to give to someone else, YOU ARE WORTHY of having that same amount of love if not more reciprocated back to you!!

There is nothing wrong with you wanting love and a certain type of love but sometimes we just get so desperate that we rush into these relationships and bring so much unnecessary heartache and pain upon ourselves. I’ve been there, done that and for the longest time I was so mad at myself because I felt like I’d wasted SO much time!! I spent FOUR YEARS in a toxic and very dangerous relationship. Not to say that my ex is a bad person although I’m still not very fond of him and I’m honestly not sure that I ever will be… he just wasn’t the one for me! That was a tough relationship to be in and an even harder one to get out of and the process of it wasn’t fun but looking back… I now see how GOD used that experience as a life lesson for me. He used that weakness to help me discover strength on a much deeper level.

Now, I’m GRATEFUL for that because it plays a part in who I am today but sometimes I also look back and wonder just how my life could’ve been had I just waited on God and listened to Him in the first place? What goodness from God would come to our lives if we just simply choose to listen? But that’s okay because after I learned and embraced everything I felt like God was trying to teach me with that situation and applied it to my life… He gave me one the biggest desires of my heart.

He gave me my Husband!!

I find it funny yet beautiful how God put us together. Here I am almost SEVEN YEARS out of toxic situation, living my best life and happily married!

One of the biggest things I had to learn is that no matter how much you love a person, you can’t change them. No matter how much POTENTIAL YOU SEE in them to be better, they won’t do better unless THEY want “better” for themselves. Therefore, they cannot give you what it is that you expect of them. They can’t give you the type of love you’re looking for and to me, that’s a CLEAR sign from God that he/she is not the one for you!

I think sometimes we actually notice the red flags with people from the beginning and we choose to ignore them because of how strong our feelings are for that particular person but I’ve also learned that the moment you choose to ignore those red flags is the exact moment you put your own self-worth on the backburner.

You don’t have to settle for someone who isn’t willing to fight for you and who has messed up in the past but doesn’t care enough to make things right in the present. Don’t settle for someone who only tries when it’s convenient for them. You don’t deserve anyone who shows no progress when progression seriously needs to be shown. You don’t have to settle for the lies, cheating, manipulation, disrespect, betrayal or abuse.


You are absolutely worth finding, worth knowing and loving… but you gotta believe that about yourself first. NO ONE is worth you sacrificing or compromising your “self-worth” for. I mean NOBODY!

“You deserve honesty. You deserve transparency. You deserve someone who respects you enough to never lie to your heart. You deserve appreciation. You deserve loyalty. You deserve someone who would never abuse your trust. You deserve Love. You deserve someone who will still be there for you even after everyone else has walked away. You deserve someone who’s genuine and real.” –Trent Shelton

We live in such a generation that fails to seek God especially when pursing relationships and marriage. I pray that type of love finds you soon and in the process of waiting for it, I pray that you discover genuine self-love, take time to get to know who you really are and SEEK GOD!!

23 thoughts on “Marriage|Relationships: Don’t Rush It !!

  1. I completely relate to this. I spent 3 years in a toxic relationship and it was so hard to walk away but I am thankful for all I’ve learned from that relationship because it helped me to grow, love myself and meet the most amazing man who values me! Thanks for sharing

  2. Great advice. It can be hard to wait for that right person, but it is so worth it. I was in a very bad relationship for 6 years myself. My ex is a bead person though. But, I thought I loved him so much and I just couldn’t get out. I am now happily married to a man that treats me like gold. We have been together for 16 years now, and I have never looked back. Even though it may have made me a stronger person, I still wish I had not put myself through that for so long. I agree that it is important for us to learn that we are worth it and we don’t need to settle. Everyone deserves to be happy! Thanks for sharing.

    1. Love can seriously be so blind sometimes! One of the things I tell people when I testify is that there was clearly something in me that was attracted to the toxic traits in him… I don’t know what it was but I needed to experience that relationship in order to know for myself that it wasn’t what I needed nor was it good for me OR the new born baby I’d brought into this world! ♥️
      I’m so glad you found love! You are also proof that it’s possible to find and have genuine love!! Thanks for reading and commenting!!

  3. Such a positive post and agree with you on so many of the points here. I’m so happy that you’re out of that situation and now happily married. I’m 22 and have not yet considered even the possibility of marriage but I love seeing other people happily in marriage since my parents have been married since they were 19 which is beyond cute! Great post 🙂

    1. Awhh thank you so much !! 💕 I got married at the age of 25 & I’m so happy now! Don’t rush marriage though !! You still have plenty of time ☺️ thank you so much for reading!!

  4. I just celebrated ten years being married to my husband in November. It’s not always been easy, that’s for sure. But he was the person that I wanted to make it work with. I look back over those ten years and I see the hell we went through. I see the effort we put into our relationship. It all brought us to where we are now, and that is amazing. Your post reminded me of that!

    1. Awhh !! ♥️ That’s so sweet !! Marriage definitely isn’t easy! It’s not always sunny days & blue skies. It’s WORK but very much worth it when it’s when the person you know you love and want to grow old with! Happy Anniversary! ♥️ so happy for you! Thank you for stopping by to read my post !!

  5. Great advice! Being single , I can relate with this. I am never interested in player type of relationships & people & it’s because I am also the one. But, where people always say that true love & loyalty is rare, I want to thank you that you made my stand stronger. I loved when you said – fight for the fairytale, it does exists. I believe in the relationship of happy married life that you mentioned. And yes, don’t rush into a marriage until you find the right one. I love your post ! Thank you for your prayers & best wishes. Stay blessed ! Love you XOXO

    1. Awhhh !!! ♥️ I love you back !! Stay headstrong about it and do NOT settle. The right heart really is out there waiting to love you. Thanks so much for reading! Your comment made me smile tonight!

  6. I can relate to this. I spent a long time thinking I needed to be in a relationship and sticking in something which wasn’t right for me. I’m now enjoying life on my own and if someone good happens to come around the corner then great if they don’t I’m happy as I am.

    1. See that’s both strength and Self Love right there !! Stay mentally strong just like that until the right one comes along !! ♥️
      Thanks for stopping by to read and comment !!

  7. Every word you wrote is nothing but the truth! When my husband and I first started dating he wasn’t they type I ever thought would get married. I never once pressured him and we lived together for 7 years prior to him proposing. I think it is best to get to know your partner and have absolutely NO doubts before taking the jump to get married. We have almost been married 8 years and couldn’t be happier, well most of the time:). Everyone has their issues, but it is the continued love and support that really matters!

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